Spring has sprung, and summer is fast approaching. Long thought of as a time of fun and freedom, my summers are a bit different than some other people's.
You see, It's been 10 years since I've gone swimming. So, the last time that I went would be when I was 18 years old.
The question that I'm sure you're asking yourself is "why?" Well, it's a combination of different things, but it's mostly because I don't feel comfortable in bathing suits. Mostly because of how much I weigh. I fear going to be beach (or in my case, the lake) would consist of me hiding under a blanket the entire time because I'm too paranoid about showing any part of myself.
I lived in California, one of the most beautiful places in the world with some of the best beaches, and I almost never ran into the ocean and swam just for the hell of it.
I'm sure you're also probably thinking "Screw it B! Slap on that swimsuit and go have some fun!" Well, it's not that simple for me. I do not want to be the girl that everyone makes fun of on the beach. I do not want to have pictures taken of me and posted on someone's website somewhere going "HEY SHAMU" or something like that.
Will I ever be fully comfortable enough to slap on a bikini and go swimming again? Only time will tell. But for now, I sit here waiting to lose these pounds and looking at all the pretty swimsuits that I'll never wear.
If that isn't motivation to lose weight, I don't know what is.
Anybody else have any thing that your weight stops you from doing?
Until next time.
You see, It's been 10 years since I've gone swimming. So, the last time that I went would be when I was 18 years old.
The question that I'm sure you're asking yourself is "why?" Well, it's a combination of different things, but it's mostly because I don't feel comfortable in bathing suits. Mostly because of how much I weigh. I fear going to be beach (or in my case, the lake) would consist of me hiding under a blanket the entire time because I'm too paranoid about showing any part of myself.
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| I would seriously reconsider my bad if I had this to wear |
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| I'll always be a California girl. |
I'm sure you're also probably thinking "Screw it B! Slap on that swimsuit and go have some fun!" Well, it's not that simple for me. I do not want to be the girl that everyone makes fun of on the beach. I do not want to have pictures taken of me and posted on someone's website somewhere going "HEY SHAMU" or something like that.
Will I ever be fully comfortable enough to slap on a bikini and go swimming again? Only time will tell. But for now, I sit here waiting to lose these pounds and looking at all the pretty swimsuits that I'll never wear.
If that isn't motivation to lose weight, I don't know what is.
Anybody else have any thing that your weight stops you from doing?
Until next time.
