Does Fat-shaming Really Help Anyone? I'm Gonna Go With No..

Disclaimer: Some people may be put off by my use of 'fat' as opposed to euphemisms such as chubby, husky, fluffy and whathaveyou.  I use fat because it's all-encompassing and because I'd like to see it become more of a neutral descriptor and not an insult.  And because I'm not a thesaurus.

Around the interwebz there has been some mixed reactions to the campaign coming out of Georgia right now for Children's Health Care of Atlanta that features stark black and white photos of fat kids with captions about how hard it is to be a fat kid.  Some people think it's brilliant because parents need to know how terrible and difficult it is to be a fat kid, like we have no idea at all.

I have a really, really hard time with this campaign. First, because these kids may find themselves associated with these campaigns for a long long time. Kids, and hell, adults can be cruel.  How many of these kids are going to go into high school known as 'The Fat Kid Poster Kid' or something similar?

Also, and I'm probably going to get crucified, but being obese isn't a problem in and of itself.  It's the issues related to (related to, not necessarily caused by) that are the problem.  Problems like Type 2 Diabetes and high cholesterol, which are related to shitty eating habits and lack of activity.  Two things that are also correlated with being obese.

Obesity?  Not the problem.  Shitty eating habits and lack of activity in kids?  Yes.  That is a problem.  Let's put it this way - let's say your kid is fat. So you take them to the doctor.  If you take your kid to the doctor and checks all their vitals and blood sugar and cholesterol and blood pressure and all that stuff and everything is fine, and you know they eat plenty of good food, fruits, veggies etc. and that they are active, then they are healthy.  And that is good.

So give a kid a break.

All you can tell by looking at someone is if they are overweight.  You can't tell someone's health by looking at them. You cannot tell if they lack activity or have shitty eating habits.  You can't tell if they have high cholesterol, or blood sugar, or a glandular issue that is actually causing weight gain (because yes, sometimes poor health causes obesity, rather than vice versa).

Which leads me to my main issue with this campaign. This campaign seems to rely on shaming kids and shaming parents and if anything, puts kids at risk of eating disorders later in life, which is going to be way worse for their health in the long run. All it seems to do is point out that being a fat kid sucks.

NO KIDDING.  Really? I thought it was a freaking amusement park ride.  (You know one of the things that makes being a fat kid suck?  Public shaming and ridicule. Oh, and restrictive diets. Those suck too).  The health issues are something to worry about, yes.. but we can focus on health issues without body-shamign little kids.  Do fat kids get bullied?  Oh, hells yes, many of them do.  That's an issue, however, that I think is better resolved by teaching kids not to be jerks, and not teaching kids that fat people are to be an object of shame and ridicule.

What the Children's Health of Atlanta campaign DOESN'T do is offer any suggestions as to how to deal with childhood obesity, other than to get all Mrs Lovejoy and shake a finger at parents as if to say "Stop letting your kids be such fatty-fat-fat's."

Source

Instead of a campaign pointing out how awful it must be to be a fatty-fatty-fat-fat how about we have more programs dedicated to pointing out how awesome and fun being active is.. regardless of whether it makes you lose weight?

How about some initiatives to make healthy food more accessible and reduce the number of food deserts in low income areas?

How about we encourage more community cohesion so that kids can go outside and play like they used to, instead of constantly reminding people through the media that if they dare let their kids out of their sight for more than 2 minutes they will die or get kidnapped or molested?

How about we put more pressure on school boards to cap salaries for admins making over 100K a year, so that programs such as Physical Education are at less risk of being cut?

How about a cost-of-living increase for minimum wage so that people aren’t forced to work ridiculous hours at 2-3 part time jobs just so they can put cheap, processed food on the table because it’s the only shit they A) can afford and B) have the bloody time to make.

There's got to be about a million ideas that would be better for combating childhood obesity or the associated risks than billboards saying “Your kid is fat, and that’s bad.”

The body that isn't yours

When I first started this weight loss journey, I realized something. I realized that I liked to compare myself and my body to other women in popular culture. I aspired to have a body like theirs.

"If only I could look like....." is what I always said to myself. Who did I want to look like? I'll show you.



This is Lita and she was my body idol.



If none of you know who Lita is, don't worry. I'm a huge wrestling fan and not much into Hollywood type of beauty. I wanted to look like Lita in the worst way for a really long time.

As you can see, Lita is gorgeous. And athletic. Just like me! (or so I said to myself) I wanted to have a body like hers. I'd put posters up in my room of her and circle all the things on her body that I wanted. Which sounds rather unhealthy and stalkerish, but it's true.

In a way, there's nothing wrong with admiring the physical beauty of another person. But how far is too far? I think the moment when you start wishing to be someone else is when you have a problem. Why do you spend so much time and energy wanting to be someone else when YOU are already fabulous the way you were made?

I've always been aware of my body, and always put down some part of it. My huge boobs. My massive thighs. My hands. (They can palm a basketball for pete's sake). Even my hair wasn't safe from my negativity. It was always put downs first and compliments last.

I remember going to a wedding once when I was still overweight and I dressed to the nines. Dresses, high heels and makeup. And I HATED it. I like to be comfy and cozy 24/7, and skirts and heels and dressing up are not my idea of that. As we got to the reception, there were some friends of the bride that were hanging around outside on the patio and one of them came and said hi to me.

"I just love your dress and your shoes are to die for." She said. "I wish I was as pretty as you are."

What did I do? Squirmed and stammered a thank you like an idiot. I honestly had no idea how to accept the compliment because I never thought of myself as someone worthy of being thought of as pretty.

As I've grown older and started this whole crazy diet idea, I realized that in order for me to lose the weight and keep it off, I had to love and accept my body the way it was. I can't afford major surgery and lots of dietary supplements to have a body like Lita. Plus I'd need to have breast implants. I don't need those. Trust me.

In my very first post here, I described how much I hated looking at myself in the mirror, and would hate analyze everything about myself. Well, in a reverse from that, I've practiced looking in the mirror and giving myself compliments.

"Wow, B. The boobies are rockin today!" (Yes, that is a compliment.)
"B, you have a beautiful smile and cute dimples."
"B, you have thighs that could crack a walnut. Stong and lovely" ( I do love my thighs now guys. Truly)
"When hubby smacks my ass, it is firm and not so wiggly anymore. Keep working out and don't stop!"

Are we all on the same page? Excellent.

If you want your body to be better, start by having a more realistic outlook about yourself. Tell yourself that you're beautiful and that you want to work out to feel better. Focus on the better part of you and not the things that you hate. Learn to love yourself before everyone else. Be your own body idol.

Be the beautiful YOU. Not the beautiful someone else. Body idols are lame anyway.

Until next time.