I've been ignoring the scale..

...pretty much since I last wrote about breaking up with the scale. That was what, two weeks ago? I hopped on the scale this morning and I was up maybe one pound since I last weighed myself, which all in all is not too bad I think. The jeans I recently moved into the "wear" drawer are still fitting.

I've been paying attention to how my body actually looks when I go to my kickboxing class and I think I am still slimming to some extent. I've just been thinking that I'm really not that uncomfortable with the size I am at currently. My reasons stem more from the fact that I had put some of the initial 65 that I had lost back in the day and I am scared shitless of gaining it all back. And that I just kind of want my clothes to fit. That, I am getting closer to. But I feel happier when I'm not constantly thinking about everything I eat.

There are still things I need to do, however.

• Keep active. I can't slack on that shit. The more active I keep, the less I will have to think about food all the damn time.
• Keep cognizant of my reasons for eating. Make sure when I eat it's because I'm hungry, not because I'm bored or sad or pissed off.
• Recognize my hunger signals and recognize when I am full. Let go of the idea that I must clean my plate Every Time.
• Keep trying to make better choices. Don't neglect my fruits and veggies. Meal plan and such. 
• Make sure when I eat it's worth it.. As the line in Ratatouille goes "I don't like food, I love food and if I don't love it, I don't swallow." which essentially means if I'm going to have treats on occasion, make them good treats, not processed crap. 

These are things I can do to make sure I don't fall back into really bad old habits.

But as far as the weighing and the tracking and the self-flagellating every damn time I have a cookie (or a Lemon Poppyseed Muffin from Timmie's... Holy crap, crack in delicious fluffy yellow form) I'm just not sure I can do it anymore.

An Interesting Proposal

I don't have a whole lot to say but I thought I'd link you to this this interesting article on The Frisky that I found via Her Five Dollar Radio. It outlines one woman's reasoning for ditching her scale.

Girl Talk: Why I Ditched My Scale

It's an idea I've been toying with... Ignoring the numbers and simply trying to pay more attention to how my clothes fit and how my body is feeling.

Thoughts?

NSV time!

For those who may not be familiar with the term, NSV is an acronym that means "Non-scale victory". An NSV is basically something that shows you what kind of progress you are makin, progress that might not be reflected in the numbers on the scale.

Moved down a notch on your belt? That's a non-scale victory.

Ran a block without getting winded? Did a full sit up? Those are non scale victories.

Finally saw your feet for the first time in years? NSV baby!

NSV's are an important thing to recognize and celebrate, because let's face it.. Sometimes those numbers on the scale don't move fast enough for our liking. But that doesn't mean we aren't making progress. No ma'am.

I celebrated a big NSV this week. Previously I spoke of pants and my wear vs my no-wear drawer. Well, this past Saturday, lacking something to wear for a night out, I decided to venture into the no-wear drawer and to my delight, after losing about 9 lbs, I have moved two more pairs into the "wear" drawer, including one pair that at one time were my very favorite pair. I was so happy I ran out to the living to dance around and show off to Guy For Whom I Have Not Come Up With A Good Blog Alias™

I had intended to show a progress pic, and even had the eldest child take a blurry, head-cut-off photo with the iPad but it occurs to me that I still am unable to upload pics to Blogger. I'll tell you what, though, if you follow me on Twitter, I'll go ahead and post it there. Sound like a plan? K.

My Somewhat Co-Dependent Vaguely Dysfunctional Relationship with Pants.

I have in my dresser, two drawers. Okay, well, six drawers but that's beside the point. For the sake of this post i'm just going to mention the bottom drawers.

They're full of pants.

There is a drawer on the left which contains all current wear-able pants. The other drawer, the one with no handle so on the odd occasion I have to open it I'm required to get down on my knees, pull out the drawer above so that I can slide my hand under and kind of jimmy the drawer open, contains more pants. This drawer holds pants that I have, at some point worn.

They generally fall into two size ranges. The 11s and 12s are the ones i used to wear, after losing 65 lbs and before gaining back 25. The ones that I pull out every few weeks and in great anticipation, hike em up as far as my thighs and ass will allow. Sometimes I can button them. Sometimes I can even zip them up, but even after doing so, after sucking in my gut and doing 5-6 squats in an effort to stretch them out, I end up sighing and folding them back up, whispering "soon, my pretties. Soon."

The other ones I don't talk about much. They are the 16-18's. Don't get me wrong. They're nice pants and I don't mean them any ill will, but I hope to hell that they never get moved to the wearable drawer. They are symbolic of how far I came, and how far back I could fall. I haven't kept many of my 'fat clothes'. Just these two or three pairs of jeans.

Before I went on the first leg of my journey, I had a massive clothing purge and donated a large bundle of clothes that I believed I would never wear again. Months later, as I began to lose the weight, I wished I could have some of those things back (Ramones T-shirt, I still miss you, and think of you every day). I've almost never missed any of my bigger clothes, with the exception of my leather pants and the polka-dot dress that I tried to take in, but I'm kind of a shitty seamstress.

Over the last few months since putting some of the weight back on and moving many of my pants into the 'No-Wear' drawer, i've been wearing a lot of dresses. Pants have not been my friend, especially work wise. I've recently moved a pair of work pants from the no-wear drawer to the wear-drawer so that's opened my options a bit, but on the whole, pants are kind of bullshit.

"Don't you hate pants?"

I have one pair, in my closet. They are currently no-wears. They're my goal pants. Awesome size 11 red plaid pants. They're kind of my Holy Grail of pants.

This is an old picture, but you get the idea.

Pants. Pants, pants, pants. I just like saying it. (You know, this post could make a pretty decent drinking game. Pants.)

Oh, sorry. Kind of drifted off there.

I guess because of the way I am built - decent chest, some semblance of a waist, ALL ASS (which is why I will forever love Freddy Mercury.. you're right, we DO make the rocking world go round!) - pants are a bone of contention more than any other type of clothing. There's so many types I feel restricted from wearing:

Low-rise: Only if you're interested in being exposed to 17" of asscrack

Skinny jeans: Nope, not with the leg thing.

Pleated fronts: Well, why would anyone want to? yeeesh.

So one of the things that I look forward to is greater pants-buying freedom (okay, everyone take a shot!). There's this pre-conceived notion in the pants-designing world that if you wear a 14 or a 16, then you are some kind of Amazon - Old Navy, I'm looking at you! After losing the initial weight, I enjoyed wearing pants that didn't require extensive hemming, because as mentioned, my skills as a seamstress are below par.

I look forward to it again. I'm going to end off this post with a track from my friend BigNic, entitled, appropriately - "Pants". Now Drink!