Getting Healthy at 40

Ain't that the truth? But I'm gonna try!

Well it happened. It finally happened. I turned 40 on Friday as I mentioned last week. I had a truly wonderful day thanks to my husband planning a treasure hunt to my gift, a fantastic dinner at a nice local restaurant that had terrific live jazz and then drinks (only 1 glass of wine for me due to my meds) at The Hyatt (fan-cy!).

Aside from that I received dozens of happy birthday wishes on Facebook and Twitter from friends and family which was really nice and just added to the lovely day. Things like that put a smile on my face and remind me that I have great friends and family, so thank you for that.

Since it was a milestone birthday, I allowed myself the weekend to sort of splurge. I had chocolate cake after dinner on Friday for example. I figured that 40 was a great time to really take charge of my life and start caring about myself more than I had been. I didn't realize that I disliked myself as much as I did until I did some soul searching this weekend. I mean, I have qualities that I like such as a good sense of humor, caring for others and a talent for writing and singing. But I also thought to myself too many times that I am wrinkled and ugly and fat. What a shitty way to perceive yourself right?

Not THAT bad for 40 am I? 

I can't do much about the wrinkles, but I'll apply as much cream as I can to help minimize those damn lines. Ugly? Probably not. I think I associate my being overweight with my being ugly. That's not fair is it? There are lots of people that are overweight that I don't think are unattractive, so why am I so hard on myself? It's ridiculous and I need to work on my perception of myself when I look in the mirror. Fat? Well, that's what I'm here for! Now that I'm 40, no more excuses! I've got to get serious about losing weight. Not because I want to fit in a size 6 or be more beautiful on the outside, but because I want to be healthy.

So I need your help, folks. Help me keep on track by reminding me of this post. Use my own words against me if need be! See, I have a terrible fear of dying ever since a health scare (one of many), so I want to make sure that I am doing everything I can to be healthy. I can't fix my CRPS, carpal tunnel syndrome, arthritis, migraines or blood disorder, but I can fix my blood pressure by losing weight can't I? Maybe one day I'll be able to stop taking blood pressure medications even.

One day that will be me smiling at the number on the scale!

The point of this rambling post is that I want and need to be the healthiest me I can be. I don't want to die before my time, so it's up to me to turn some things around. I'm fortunate to have the gift of writing for this blog and that means I'm held responsible by all of you. I don't want to disappoint you and more than that I don't want to disappoint myself.

Bit O' Honey

So happy that she's grabbing her face? I don't understand it either folks. source

I'm proud of myself for a change, folks. I did well this past week. I ate salads 4 days out of the week and didn't snack on a bunch of crap I shouldn't be eating. So yay!

Mmm...honey.

I treated myself over the weekend with some ice cream, because I deserved that little treat. In fact, I enjoyed it so much, I'll be writing about my new ambition of becoming an ice cream taster for Ben & Jerry over on my blog today. Ice cream is one of those foods that brings happiness to any situation. It's creamy, it's delicious, it comes in a variety of flavors. What's not to love right? And y'all... you have not lived until you've had the Baklava flavor from Kroger's Private Selection brand. It has honey ice cream. HONEY! There is never a time when honey hasn't made something tastier am I right?

I also had a friend direct me to a pretty cool little site called Slim Kicker. You get points and rewards for finishing the challenges that YOU choose. I highly recommend checking it out. There are challenges of will-power, emotional, physical, etc. You decide and you choose what the reward will be. Like a cheat meal or massage or girl's night out. I like that it offers you more control over how you work the program. I get tired of people telling me what to do, I don't know about you.

source

I don't handle authority well in many situations particularly when it comes to my fat ass. I would fail miserably on a show like The Biggest Loser because they yell at the people a lot and I'd probably yell back something like, "SUCK IT! YELLING AT ME ISN'T GOING TO MAKE ME WORK HARDER, ASSHOLE!" Then they would kick me off the show for being too difficult and I'd go home a chunky, angry chick and nobody wants that.

Back Then I...

Yesterday I had to do a photoshoot and I'm telling you I've never felt so self-conscious in my entire life. It's weird because I used to model and have done shoots in A LOT less clothing and never felt insecure. That was a long time ago my friends. I was a lot skinnier and at least 7 years younger. I look back at those photos sometimes and forget that I have gained all this weight. I don't want to come back to the reality that I'm embarrassed of my body now. I want to go back in time and be that girl that modeled her tattoos and didn't worry about showing her body. In that time I wasn't afflicted with CRPS and arthritis and my hands weren't swollen and twisted in pain. I was beautiful then. Oh how I wish I could slip back into that body I was proud of like a second skin. I would leave my gnarled hands behind along with all the weight I've gained. Oh please can't I go back again? This time I won't fall and break my arm so badly that it develops CRPS. I'll treat my body well and will remember to eat healthy and exercise. This time I'll do what I should do and won't have an illness hold me back. Please?

Chronic Pain, Repeat Gain & Loss, and Support

Who knew? source

I don't have much to report today. I'm ashamed that I keep losing and gaining the same 5-8 pounds. I need to get more focused and I need to exercise. I can work on the focus, but the exercise is something I can't physically do right now unfortunately.

Between my CRPS and this Vitamin D deficiency kicking my ass with serious pain, I simply can't exercise. There are times I can barely walk at all. So what's a chunky girl to do? Keep working on her diet, that's what. I promise to keep trying if y'all promise to stick with me through this rough patch. Here is a list of reasons for you to hang in there with me:

• I'm funny as fuck. Well, I think so anyway. Who the hell else names the pounds they lose AND their inner chunky and skinny girls. I say no one, that's who. Boom.
• I can use all the support I can get. I'm horrible at keeping on track with a lot of things including not pigging out on sweets. Is it my fault that chocolate and pie are so damn delicious?
• I'd do it for you! I am by nature a very supportive person. I think it has something to do with being a woman and chronic illness sufferer. I get it.

So there you have it. If this list didn't convince you, well then I don't know what will, people. I hope everyone had a great weekend and Easter if you celebrate the holiday. Much love to you all and I promise to do better.

Book Review: All of Me - A Voluptuous Tale

Hey all. I'm kind of phoning it in this week. Long story short, it was pointed out to me that work time should be for work and in an effort to remain employed I'm trying to take that to heart. So between renewed efforts at being productive at work, a more active than usual love life, and the pain that is typing by touch-screen, my blogging time is more limited. This is a repost from October 6th, 2011. I hope you enjoy it.

My mom recently lent me the book All of Me: A Voluptuous Tale by Venise Berry. The cover puts me in mind of something that would be on Oprah's book club. Upon recommending it to me, she told me that the main character reminded her a lot of me.

I had a bit of a"Gee, thanks mom" moment when I began reading as it starts with the main character, Serpentine Williamson, in a psychiatric hospital after a suicide attempt. However, this is not what she was getting at. Serpentine is a black woman who has struggled with her weight all of her life, and recounts the events in her life that led up to her suicide attempt. She deals with fat-shaming from her family, her lovers, her workplace and from society around her.

This book pissed me off to no end, but in the way I think the author intended. I was angry FOR Serpentine and I could understand her frustration at the world around her for treating her like she was a less worthy human being for being fat.

The book also deals with the issue of not only being a fat woman, but a fat black woman. It was an interesting perspective for me to read, being white, since it's my understanding that there can be some significant differences between white women and black women's experiences with fat-shaming and body acceptance. These issues stem a lot from privilege, society's ownership of women's bodies, access to healthy food and activity, and media representation.

I related to Serpentine in her personal life - feeling less than worthy, feeling insecure and jealous of the thin, pretty girls (although in some cases the 'thin girls' were not too far off from me - when I lost the first chunk of weight, I had a few friends point out that we were almost the same size, even though I still felt like the fat girl of the group). I always felt incredulous when someone professed to be attracted to me.

The message of the book focuses a lot of being healthy. While being aware of all the external factors that have affected her, Serpentine also acknowledges her own responsibility in getting where she is, and uses her experiences to better herself and live a healthier life.

It was an enjoyable read. I recommend picking it up.

I Just Gotta Dance!!

Nobody puts Baby in a corner! You knew it was coming when you saw this photo!

It's Monday again, kids and what is new since last Monday? Well, I'll went to my pain management appointment and explained how I've been having HORRIBLE joint pain for at least 6 weeks now along with a scratchy throat/hoarse voice and can she PLEASE fucking help me? She took 8765123131 vials of blood to check for rheumatoid arthritis and vitamin D deficiency, gave me 2 new meds to try and sent me on my way. I'll find out the results today or tomorrow (hopefully), but I'm still annoyed. I'm so tired of going in with new symptoms all the damn time. Cut me some slack, oh powers that be!!

Ackkk!!!!

What does this have to do with a weight loss blog? Plenty. Because I've had such excruciating pain, I haven't been able to exercise because even getting up out of my chair is torture. We're talking worse than being forced to watch Carrot Top in Vegas or Kathie Lee Gifford on morning TV bash everyone who disagrees with her.

You, sir are down right adorable... and doable. Ahem.

I lost Arthur (I name the pounds I lose if you're new to my lunacy) last week, which is fan-fucking-tastic, but his cousin Gordon is still holding on like one of those people in the movies who fall off the ledge they are supposedly going to jump from, but then change their minds after they are dangling by their fingers and are rescued by a handsome fireman. Let's make him, John Cusack, for example because I like John Cusack as much as I like Girl Scout cookies. Rawr!

Am I the only one who liked Farmer Ted better than Jake Ryan?

Anyway, I'm hoping for answers this week. That's all, just some god damn answers. Once I have those then I'll be able to get back to dancing around my living room like a lunatic for exercise. I love dancing around my living room  like a lunatic for a couple of reasons:

This scene in Valley Girl was when I first heard one of my all-time favorite songs, I Melt With You.

1. It makes me feel young again. Sometimes I re-enact the dancing scenes from '80's movies like Sixteen Candles (not John Cusack's sexiest role, but he was hilarious so points for that), Footloose (hellooooo Kevin Bacon... mmm...bacon), and Valley Girl (remember when Nicolas Cage wasn't scary and didn't choose crappy film roles?).
2. I just feel good afterward. I feel happy and invigorated while I'm flailing my arms ala Elaine on Seinfeld. I sometimes even do the thumbs and the little kicks just to make myself laugh.

Oh Ren, you had me at listening to Quiet Riot in your VW Beetle. le sigh

So everyone do me a favor and send healing thoughts and good vibes my way. I just want to be able to do my own brand of exerdancing or dancercising in my pajamas to the sounds of "the olden days" when hair bands and hairspray were king. In the words of Ren McCormick, LET'S DANCE! Cue the Kenny Loggins!

Apples, Peanut Butter and Tastykakes

This, my friends, is my emotional roller coaster.

I had a rough week. It seems like I've been saying that a lot lately doesn't it? Well, this past week had some really high highs and some really low lows. Highs were

• A brand new tattoo that serves as a reminder to appreciate the small joys in life.
• TV journalist, Josh Mankiewicz of Dateline NBC reading and passing on my blog to others on Twitter. I was/am thrilled about this one. Yippee!
• Gaining some new readers because of Mr. Mankewicz. That is really the cherry on top. New readers and new friends. 
• Purchasing 50 Horror Classics for $14.99 at Best Buy. So what if a lot of the movies are not the greatest! I adore a good B-movie even if it's a bad B-movie. Ha! It has a lot of really good ones in it too. These are all from the '20s-'60s, I believe. LOVE.

And then there were the lows:

• A trip to the e.r. the same day I got the tattoo. It was awful. Dizziness, headache, nausea, inner leg pain (this is where I previously had a DVT). I was scared because of my blood disorder that I had another blood clot. I didn't. Everything is fine now, but I was terrified at the time. It was an atypical migraine, which surprised the hell out of me because I've been getting migraines for upwards of 20 years and they never felt like that. I guess that's where the atypical part comes in huh?
• Depression followed closely by, you guessed it, poor eating choices. Ugh. 

She was similar to this one. I shall name her Carmen. Why not? Photo from  www.funcupcakeideas.com

Dammit! I so want to do well with my eating habits, not only for my own pig face, but for you. I don't want to let anyone down or disappoint any of you. That fucking cupcake. Why does she (no idea why the cake is a she, but in my mind she is) have to call to me in that sexy voice? "Mrs. One Day? Don't I look scrumptious tonight? Look at how my chocolate frosting swirls around the top of my moist, fudgey cake body. You want me. I want you. Let's do this." How the hell am I supposed to resist a leftover cupcake I've named Carmen, with a pickup line like that? 

Well hello there, Miss Krimpet.

Then the husband, who is from Delaware, found out that Tastykakes are now available here in Wichita. This was so exciting...for him. I know that he loves Tastykakes and missed having them when he moved away from the East Coast. What do I do, not let him bring them in the house? He doesn't have an ounce to lose. If anything, he could stand to gain a couple of lbs. So we went to our local Wal-Mart, the only place that sells them here right now and that also occupies a special corner in the depths of hell, and picked up these heavenly little pastries. Butterscotch Krimpets (because they were out of something called, Kandy Kakes?) they are called. Come on! Stop eyeballing me, Miss Krimpet. "But you know you want my lusciousness in your mouth, Mrs. One Day. You can't resist my sweet, creamy, butterscotch icing and fluffy cake. I'm stronger than you, human!" Grrr! She  was right. I gobbled her up and felt a wide variety of emotions afterward.

I was so very happy because she was so fucking delicious. I was also guilty, sad, angry, elated, deflated, (still) hungry, horny, and oddly apathetic. I guess the moral of the story is emotional eating is a real thing. A real bitch of a lady that can come in the form of depression and Tastykakes. How do you get past emotional eating? Beats the fuck out of me. If I knew that, Carmen and Miss Krimpet wouldn't have been shoved into my mouth like it was my last meal on earth.

Photo from www.cheapcooking.com

The good news is that today I've started anew. An apple and peanut butter for breakfast and I'll have my usual pineapple for lunch. For dinner we're having chicken that is not even fried! Wow! Stick with me, kids. I'm doing the best I can and I know you are too. 

Oh and if you see Miss Krimpet and/or Carmen, tell them I said to go to hell. Never mind, I may want them to visit at a later date. Hehe.

My Somewhat Co-Dependent Vaguely Dysfunctional Relationship with Pants.

I have in my dresser, two drawers. Okay, well, six drawers but that's beside the point. For the sake of this post i'm just going to mention the bottom drawers.

They're full of pants.

There is a drawer on the left which contains all current wear-able pants. The other drawer, the one with no handle so on the odd occasion I have to open it I'm required to get down on my knees, pull out the drawer above so that I can slide my hand under and kind of jimmy the drawer open, contains more pants. This drawer holds pants that I have, at some point worn.

They generally fall into two size ranges. The 11s and 12s are the ones i used to wear, after losing 65 lbs and before gaining back 25. The ones that I pull out every few weeks and in great anticipation, hike em up as far as my thighs and ass will allow. Sometimes I can button them. Sometimes I can even zip them up, but even after doing so, after sucking in my gut and doing 5-6 squats in an effort to stretch them out, I end up sighing and folding them back up, whispering "soon, my pretties. Soon."

The other ones I don't talk about much. They are the 16-18's. Don't get me wrong. They're nice pants and I don't mean them any ill will, but I hope to hell that they never get moved to the wearable drawer. They are symbolic of how far I came, and how far back I could fall. I haven't kept many of my 'fat clothes'. Just these two or three pairs of jeans.

Before I went on the first leg of my journey, I had a massive clothing purge and donated a large bundle of clothes that I believed I would never wear again. Months later, as I began to lose the weight, I wished I could have some of those things back (Ramones T-shirt, I still miss you, and think of you every day). I've almost never missed any of my bigger clothes, with the exception of my leather pants and the polka-dot dress that I tried to take in, but I'm kind of a shitty seamstress.

Over the last few months since putting some of the weight back on and moving many of my pants into the 'No-Wear' drawer, i've been wearing a lot of dresses. Pants have not been my friend, especially work wise. I've recently moved a pair of work pants from the no-wear drawer to the wear-drawer so that's opened my options a bit, but on the whole, pants are kind of bullshit.

"Don't you hate pants?"

I have one pair, in my closet. They are currently no-wears. They're my goal pants. Awesome size 11 red plaid pants. They're kind of my Holy Grail of pants.

This is an old picture, but you get the idea.

Pants. Pants, pants, pants. I just like saying it. (You know, this post could make a pretty decent drinking game. Pants.)

Oh, sorry. Kind of drifted off there.

I guess because of the way I am built - decent chest, some semblance of a waist, ALL ASS (which is why I will forever love Freddy Mercury.. you're right, we DO make the rocking world go round!) - pants are a bone of contention more than any other type of clothing. There's so many types I feel restricted from wearing:

Low-rise: Only if you're interested in being exposed to 17" of asscrack

Skinny jeans: Nope, not with the leg thing.

Pleated fronts: Well, why would anyone want to? yeeesh.

So one of the things that I look forward to is greater pants-buying freedom (okay, everyone take a shot!). There's this pre-conceived notion in the pants-designing world that if you wear a 14 or a 16, then you are some kind of Amazon - Old Navy, I'm looking at you! After losing the initial weight, I enjoyed wearing pants that didn't require extensive hemming, because as mentioned, my skills as a seamstress are below par.

I look forward to it again. I'm going to end off this post with a track from my friend BigNic, entitled, appropriately - "Pants". Now Drink!

Hoghead Cheese and Gumbo

Scratching your heads right now, aren't ya?  Many will know what gumbo is, but when they hear the words "hog" "head" and "cheese" together, they get a bit flustered.  And yes, it's exactly what it sounds like:  cheese made from the head of a hog.  Sounds gross, but it's SO GOOD.

I was born and raised in the deep south.  I'm talking gator farms, crabbing at 3am, mosquitoes, boudin balls, jambalaya and red beans for dinner deep south.  If you're from here or have ever visited here, you know the food is fantastic.  Anything and everything you could eat here is great with one exception:  nutria rat.  I have never and will never eat a rat.  No, thank you.

Since my mother and her mother were also born and raised here, they are two of the best cooks in the world.  I don't care what they're cooking, it's good.  Like slap ya Momma good. (Note:  If you're ever in the south and something is slap ya Momma good, PLEASE, for the love of God, do not slap somebody's Momma.  You'll get your ass kicked.) They cook the best fried chicken, pork chops, roast and gravy - and we eat pretty much everything with gravy.  It's a food group.

In addition to being delicious, food is also cooked differently here.  We'll take anything healthy and make it unhealthy.  All you need is some Crisco, butter and flour.  For example, when we get fresh vegetables, we don't just slice 'em up and throw them in a salad.  No, sir.  We batter and fry those bad boys.  Do the same thing to fish, shrimp, soft shell crabs and even bread (hushpuppies).  If we're not frying it, we're covering it in salt and Tony's (Tony Chachere's Seasoning).  You can make anything better with enough Tony's.

Knowing all of this can help y'all understand just how incredibly easy it was for me to get as big as the side of a barn.  Because not only is the food delicious, every single public event that goes on down here involves some form of food.  Festivals are named after foods.  Parties involve either BBQ or a crawfish boil.  Church get-togethers include potluck dinners (Oh em gee can old church ladies cook!).  Hell, they even serve snacks at the polling booths on election days.  I'm telling you, life in the south revolves around food.

So,  27 years of weekly Sunday dinners at my Mawmaw's house with roast, rice and gravy, homemade macaroni and cheese, broccoli casserole, squash casserole (a vegetable isn't edible unless it's fried or in a casserole of some sort), cornbread and the likes, on top of my mother's daily wholesome dinners (she cooked enough for a small army - every single night), combined with the bad habits of any kid/young adult - fast food and junk food all the time..... God, why was I even surprised when that scale read 283??

Once I got married and moved out, my eating habits didn't worsen, but they surely didn't improve.  I wanted to cook dinners every night, but with being a student and working full time and a house to keep up, many nights I would just throw chicken nuggets and fries in the oven.  I would cook some vegetables for the kids, but my husband and I would eat large platefuls of nuggets and fries with ketchup AND MAYONNAISE mixed together.  That started around age 8.  At 27 I was still eating mayonnaise and ketchup mixed together with fries and basically any meat - chicken, pork, even steak.

I'd plan on being good and bring a can of soup or a small pack of crackers to school or work, but as soon as I got in my car to go home, the first thing I wanted to do was pull into a Sonic or Raising Canes or Taco Bell. From Sonic I would order mozzarella sticks, cheddar poppers and a large chili cheese tots.  Every single time.  From Cane's I would get the largest combo with an extra sauce - no coleslaw for me.  Taco Bell would be a stuffed burrito with either a Mexican pizza or a quesadilla.  Every once in a while I would stop by Popeye's and get a 3-piece chicken with red beans and rice and a biscuit.  I would eat ALL THREE pieces of chicken, all of the red beans and the biscuit.

I'm mortified to be sharing this with y'all, but I know that being honest with myself and everyone else about how bad I let myself get is the best way to motivate myself to continue this new path I'm on.  Since I've started my lifestyle change I haven't had any fast food or junk food.  An entire month with no junk food is a milestone for me.  I don't know how Sonic is going to pay their light bill anymore.

Hopefully soon I can share with you guys some of the lifestyle changes I've made in regards to what I eat.  A lot of it has to do with being conscious of what we put into our bodies, and how it will affect us.   So, the next time you feel the urge to pull in to a fast food joint for a "quick bite", take a second to think about how long it will take to work it off.

Andie: Been There. Done That. Got the T-shirt but the T-shirt No Longer Fits.

Well, I guess I should get the formalities out of the way.  I am called Andie and I am aka'd as Yandie, Goddess of Pickles when I blog at my regular blog at Inspiration Strikes. In The Kneecaps.  I'm a 30ish, musically inclined, vaguely eccentric Canadian single mother of two girls who has struggled with body issues for most of my life.

Gross, right?  I know.
(God, I was such an idiot.)

I say "body issues" rather than "weight" because in retrospect, I think the "weight problems" I had as a child and a teenager were grossly exaggerated.  I equated being bigger than my peers with being fat.  I also spent a lot of time internalizing my parents concerns with my shitty nutritional habits as more evidence that I was terribly fat.   Considering where I found myself years later, I have to reiterate that my fat concerns at the time were more than a little unfounded.

The nutritional concerns on the other hand? Totally Not Unfounded. I'll be dead, straight, spit-in-your-face honest when I say that for the first 25 years of my life I was probably the pickiest eater imaginable. I don't mean that I had a sophisticated palate. No ma'am. Picky like a five-year-old. Kraft Dinner (that's Mac 'n' Cheese for those south of the 49th parallel), grilled cheese and Zoodles were my staples. Vegetables were not a part of my vocabulary. To this day, people can list the individual ingredients of hot dogs to me and my response is still likely to be a Homer Simpson-esque "mmmm... Reconstituted pork hooves" complete with drool. Heck yes, I loves me some processed shit.

So what got me onto this health kick? For starters, some severe health issues that reared their ugly heads just after my 18th birthday. These issues, that include some occasionally severe colitis and multiple blood clots, and their various medications also resulted in my weight fluctuating wildly for the next ten years or so. Second, the realization at the age of 27 that no matter your feelings on the beauty and diet industry, when you wake up with 230 lbs on a 5'5" frame and your legs hurt every day, well, son, there's nothing cool about that AT ALL. Third, the idea of dying young didn't appeal to me at all and I became concerned that may be a very real possibility.

myself, early 2007, at 232 lbs

I started Weight Watchers in 2007 and over the next four or so years managed to lose 65 lbs. Yeah, I'm kind of a veteran with this stuff. I started eating better getting more activity and ended up about 20 lbs shy of my goal. I left WW due to disillusionment with the rampant corporatism and within a year I had gained back 20 lbs.

Which is why I am here. I've got a lot of pants that I'd like to wear again and a pretty vested interest in not getting back to my unhealthiest weight. Pretty clothes are pretty and no meds is all kinds of awesome.  I recently signed up at www.myfitnesspal.com which basically uses the same 'calories in, calories out' ideas that are used in Weight Watchers but without me having to shell out my hard-earned cash.  I'm looking forward to writing with these lovely ladies and keeping y'all up to date. I may also touch on subjects such as HEAS (Health At Every Size) and how the media affects our body image and self-worth. Did I mention I have a background in sociology? So yeah I kind of get off on analyzing such things.

Not literally, of course. Ew.

Hi! I'm Mrs. One Day and I'm a Food-o-holic!

I'm gonna be 40 in May. 40! Geez, I can't believe I'm already at that point in my life. I mean, it really seems like I was just a 20-something woman with a size 8 body and the world in the palm of my hand. Now I look at that size 14 or 16 label in my jeans and get teary eyed. I've been disabled since 2008 and I see no world in my palm. That saying makes me smirk at the irony actually. You see it's my left hand/arm that have the problem. 

God I hope that's true.

                             

​I have Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), sometimes referred to as Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD). Quite a mouthful isn't it? If you aren't familiar with CRPS, check out this excellent information on the oh-so-helpful bandbacktogether.com, http://bandbacktogether.com/complex-regional-pain-syndrome-resources/ . Because of this, and several other, medical issues, I have a hard time with exercise. My pain is excruciating at worst and annoying as hell, at best. I have a grocery list of medical problems that I won't bore you with now, but suffice it to say, I'm a sickly chicky. It sucks and I've written about it in my personal blog, onedayimgonna.blogspot.com, which is weird because it's a humor blog. Every now and then I get a little bit intimate over there, but mostly it's about the laughs.

​So, I guess you get the general picture here. I developed CRPS in 2008 and have since gained about 40 extra pounds that I hate. I'm thinking of naming each one so that when I lose them, I can shout, "Fuck you, Ira! Off you go!" Doesn't Ira totally work as a "pound" name? Maybe I'll make a list of their names and post it. Maybe not. It's weird right? Let me get this train back on the track now. Alrighty, so I am trying my best to get rid of Ira and his fatty friends. How, you ask? Portion control and dancing which masquerades as exercise. Yay! I find that I'm having so much fun I sometimes forget that I'm working out and the next day my butt, legs, arms and back are sore as hell. That's how I know I actually did something productive for my body. Woohoo! 

We've all been here, no?

​​Bottom line is this. I have very little will power...very little. I'm a caver. I'm a rationalizaton-er. I'm a word maker upper apparently too. My tendency is to eat several things that seem "not-so-bad" throughout the day, not thinking of how they add up. I rationalize it by saying, "But it's only 50 calories!", which would be okay if it were just the one 50 calorie item. It usually isn't. I'm pretty good about the working out because, like I said before, it's fun dancing around the house!

At least THAT'S not us right?

I need this blog for support from my fellow contributers (who I adore by the way), and from readers like you. I promise to do my best and share all of my ups (and downs), if you promise to do it with me. Kick me in the ass if I need it (and I will). Give me a high five when I deserve one and dammit let's get rid of Ira and all the rest of them!

​