Thursday, January 26, 2012

Andie: Been There. Done That. Got the T-shirt but the T-shirt No Longer Fits.

Well, I guess I should get the formalities out of the way.  I am called Andie and I am aka'd as Yandie, Goddess of Pickles when I blog at my regular blog at Inspiration Strikes. In The Kneecaps.  I'm a 30ish, musically inclined, vaguely eccentric Canadian single mother of two girls who has struggled with body issues for most of my life.

Gross, right?  I know.
(God, I was such an idiot.)
I say "body issues" rather than "weight" because in retrospect, I think the "weight problems" I had as a child and a teenager were grossly exaggerated.  I equated being bigger than my peers with being fat.  I also spent a lot of time internalizing my parents concerns with my shitty nutritional habits as more evidence that I was terribly fat.   Considering where I found myself years later, I have to reiterate that my fat concerns at the time were more than a little unfounded.

The nutritional concerns on the other hand? Totally Not Unfounded. I'll be dead, straight, spit-in-your-face honest when I say that for the first 25 years of my life I was probably the pickiest eater imaginable. I don't mean that I had a sophisticated palate. No ma'am. Picky like a five-year-old. Kraft Dinner (that's Mac 'n' Cheese for those south of the 49th parallel), grilled cheese and Zoodles were my staples. Vegetables were not a part of my vocabulary. To this day, people can list the individual ingredients of hot dogs to me and my response is still likely to be a Homer Simpson-esque "mmmm... Reconstituted pork hooves" complete with drool. Heck yes, I loves me some processed shit.

So what got me onto this health kick? For starters, some severe health issues that reared their ugly heads just after my 18th birthday. These issues, that include some occasionally severe colitis and multiple blood clots, and their various medications also resulted in my weight fluctuating wildly for the next ten years or so. Second, the realization at the age of 27 that no matter your feelings on the beauty and diet industry, when you wake up with 230 lbs on a 5'5" frame and your legs hurt every day, well, son, there's nothing cool about that AT ALL. Third, the idea of dying young didn't appeal to me at all and I became concerned that may be a very real possibility.

myself, early 2007, at 232 lbs
I started Weight Watchers in 2007 and over the next four or so years managed to lose 65 lbs. Yeah, I'm kind of a veteran with this stuff. I started eating better getting more activity and ended up about 20 lbs shy of my goal. I left WW due to disillusionment with the rampant corporatism and within a year I had gained back 20 lbs.

Which is why I am here. I've got a lot of pants that I'd like to wear again and a pretty vested interest in not getting back to my unhealthiest weight. Pretty clothes are pretty and no meds is all kinds of awesome.  I recently signed up at www.myfitnesspal.com which basically uses the same 'calories in, calories out' ideas that are used in Weight Watchers but without me having to shell out my hard-earned cash.  I'm looking forward to writing with these lovely ladies and keeping y'all up to date. I may also touch on subjects such as HEAS (Health At Every Size) and how the media affects our body image and self-worth. Did I mention I have a background in sociology? So yeah I kind of get off on analyzing such things.

Not literally, of course. Ew.

17 comments:

  1. When I was at my skinniest I still thought I was chunky. Then in highschool when I was a steady 145 I was pretty sure I was so fat. Looking back at those pictures I just want to go back in time and shake me.

    No matter how many times we may have succeeded just to back slide in the past, there's always now, today, and starting again.

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    1. Yeah, I find it so funny that the size I thought was huge when I was in high school is what I'm aiming for now. If had known how good I looked back then, I would have been shaking it!

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  2. I can't wait for your media analyzations! Those posts should be very good stuff.

    I had myfitness pal for a very long time, but now I use the calorie counter app on my phone. It does some stuff that fitness pal doesn't let me do and I love it.

    Heath At Every Size!!!

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    1. I have the MFP app for my ipad, the one that lets you just scan bar codes, but I find I just prefer to use the regular old site itself.

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  3. Woo hoo! I'm excited to read about this from your perspective Andie! I've also known a handful of people that left weight watchers for the same reason as you did!

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    1. It's sad because of everything out there, it really does work, if you work with it. But they seem to be just as interested in finding ways to keep paying customers always paying more.

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    2. I agree. The program is awesome, but they kill you with all the stuff they want you to buy or sign up for. I still use what I learned there, but I'm not paying for it anymore. It's so expensive!

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  4. Hi Yandie, nice to see you again. I didn't realise I was putting on weight until I saw a picture of myself at my 30th Birthday holding a birthday cake. I wasn't hugely overweight, maybe 17 stone or so but it crept on without my realising. I went on a 28 day detox diet. No dairy, no booze, no caffeine, no bread, no meat. It was porridge mae with water for breakfast, herbal teas, enough salad and vegetables to fill a farm and loads of fruit. By the end of it when I tried going back to the processed foods and drinks I had before the diet, they all tasted awful. I could taste the fat and chemicals in them and while my diet these days is nowhere near as extreme I don't eat fast food or ready made meals anymore.

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    1. I had a friend of mine go on something like that. Myself I'm trying to find a happy medium between making healthy choices and still occasionally enjoying treats or otherwise. (good to see you again as well :-)

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  5. Andie, I feel your pain girl. Literally. The knees and other joints hurting all the time really blows doesn't it? It doesn't take much weight to do that to a person either.

    I'm so glad to be doing this with you. We have so much in common. I think that will be helpful for us while we're going through this process. You know I'm here for you...and all the girls! *hugs*

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  6. Great intro! I'm really interesting to hear more about your views on WW. That's an opinion I haven't heard yet.

    Glad you're on board with us!

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    1. InterestED, not interesting. Although I am interesting. Sometimes. I think.

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  7. I keep three wardrobes. My "skinny" clothes, my "normal clothes" and my "fat clothes". I never throw anything out because I know I'll yo-yo between all of them. I love fat and sugar. I eat the skin off the turkey and the fat off the pork chops; Deep fry it and I'll eat it. And the pressure the media puts on us is awful In protest I do not purchase any women's magazines. If it has adverts of unhealthy skinny women in it, it doesn't come into my home. Congratulations on your motivation and I'm looking forward to reading about your journey.

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    1. I'm cool with having thin, even exceptionally thin, women in the media IF there is a wide representation of other body types as well, and if that super-skinny model isn't always being held up as the ideal. There are ALL kinds of beautiful body types out there, none inherently better than the other.

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  8. Well done for losing that 65 pounds...even if some of it did manage to find its way back home! If you could do it then, you can do it now! Good luck!

    And I hear what Anne is saying in regards to the media's portrayal of a beautiful woman. What gets me is the fact that there are 13/14 year olds starving themselves!! I mean, they're dieting before their bodies have had a chance to develop. It's disgusting.

    GM x

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    1. I shudder a little inside any time my either of my girls make reference to their weight (although with my oldest, right now she WANTS to be heavier so she can sit in the front seat of the car!). Thankfully right now that is a pretty rare occurence.

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  9. I am so proud of you girls, and know that you will succeed. Your honesty is helping so many women that are struggling with body issues. Hell, I struggle with body issues every day of my life.

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