Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The story of the chick who got so fat she had to have an anonymous blog...

Yep, that would be me.

Hey y'all, Bea Beautiful here.  I'm 27, married, a mother of two, a college student, a part-time worker and I have spent the majority of my life being the funny fat friend in the group.  It's okay, I earned that title one quarter pounder at a time.

As a child/teen I was very active, and played sports year-round.  I was really good, too.  For some strange reason around eleven I started gaining weight with no obvious reason.  Concerned, my mother brought me to my pediatrician who soon figured out that I have hypothyroidism.  (Basically a really ridiculous term that means my metabolism is always in panic mode, ie: WE MUST STORE EVERYTHING NOW! EVERY CALORIE, EVERY FAT GRAM!  STICK 'EM ANYWHERE!) Thus began the pill-a-day regimen since age twelve.  Now, to be clear, there are millions of people in the world who have this condition, yet they manage to keep their weight at healthy levels.  I used it as a scapegoat.  The larger I grew, the more I informed people of my backwards metabolism.  It was easier to blame my ever-expanding waist line on a faulty body part than my inability to turn down McDonald's or Taco Bell.

Luckily for me, God created a man with a short in his brain somewhere, and as such he finds me unbelievably sexy.  I jumped on that bandwagon and married this man.  I'm no idiot.  Honestly, my husband is funny, kind, smart and sexy as hell, and he was good enough to see past the weight.  We have been married for five years now, have two beautiful children, and his biggest concern with me losing weight is that my boobs will disappear.  God love him.

I've always hated being the fat chick.  I hate walking into a room full of people for the first time, because I just know they're all thinking something along the lines of Damn, she's fat. As a defense mechanism I've always made it a point to joke about my weight.  I make comments about being SO sexy, and everyone laughs like it's the funniest damn thing they've ever heard.  Me sexy.  Hysterical, right?

Despite the insecurities and having to buy old lady clothes, I have had a really happy, blessed life thus far.  That's why I think I was able to just push my weight to the back of my mind.  Try not to think about how my knees ache when I walk up or down stairs, or how much I hate summer because it doesn't matter how flattering you make a swimsuit look, 3 yards of bathing suit is not pretty.

One morning back in December I had a doctor's appointment and decided to step on the 'ol scale in my bathroom just so I wouldn't be shocked at the office when they made me weigh.  283.  Two hundred and eighty-three.  I weighed more than most NFL defensive linemen.  How in the world had I let myself get so big?  I guess I could have gotten depressed there.  I could have given up and said screw it, I'll just eat myself to death.  Instead, I got mad.  I got mad at myself for being so damn lazy.  I got mad at myself for not making sure I'm around for my kids.  I got mad at Popeye's for making such good fried chicken.  Getting mad was the motivation I needed.

I decided I would make changes right then.  No dieting.  I would make permanent lifestyle changes.  Cut out the bad stuff.  Exercise regularly.  Drink water.  Lots of it.  No more fast food, no more junk food.  So on December 21, 2011 I began these changes.  I decided I needed to blog about it to keep myself accountable and maybe make some friends and encourage others along the way.  That is exactly what has happened, and why I'm introducing myself to you now on this group blog with these other wonderful people who understand, support and encourage.  I am 23 pounds down, and though I have a VERY long way to go, I know I won't be making this journey alone.  Hope you come along with us and enjoy the ride.

God Bless!

20 comments:

  1. When I was 20, I was with my family on a trip to somewhere, who knows where. We stopped at a gas station and I popped in to use the facilities. When I came out I heard my grandfather say to mom/dad/grandmother/anyone who was around, that I looked like a linebacker. Ugh. I understand and I also know the pain inside when you make the "I'm so sexy" fat joke and everyone laughs. Couldn't at least one person not laugh and looked confused and say, "but you are pretty sexy"? Oh wait one did, my hubby, and I snapped him up immediately.

    We'll lose the pounds together, and we'll show everyone who laughed.

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  2. I'm so glad that you made this second blog. You are one of my places to stop by. I can't wait to read and support you on your weightloss journey. Many girls/women/men/PEOPLE are going to stop here and be so appreciative by your honesty. Good luck chica :)

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  3. My husband is just like yours...worried about my boobs going. And honestly, he needs to start losing weight too but I can't control what he does...I need to take care of me and set a good example for my girls. Hopefully he'll follow along.

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  4. One, I love your writing style. It is completelty hilarious and though I cannot actually "hear" the sound of your voice, the way you write gives me the ability to do so in a strange sense! As for the weight-loss journey, I wish you nothing but the best!

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  5. Bea, you and I would totes be friends if I knew you in real life.

    We will lose this weight together, and I don't want to hear a word otherwise! We can do this.

    By the way, this is an excellent first post from you. I love it from top to bottom.

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  6. I am echoing what B. just said about being friends in 'real life'. Yep...I can totally see us hanging out. I think that about all the ladies I've met so far on this blog!

    Also, I love this post so much and I can relate to so much of it. Making jokes and pushing the signs & symptoms away. Back pain, knee and joint pain, getting out of breath so easily. I can relate.

    We're going to beat the shit out of this extra weight! All 7 of us! Screw you, extra pounds!

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  7. First of all congratulations on the loss of pounds so far. That's a real accomplishment. I love what you girls are doing here. They way you are so open about how you feel about yourselves and the fearless way you discuss your issues will empower other women. I'm going to comment on this blog even on days when I don't post one of my own and I have you on my blogroll so other people can find out about you girls.

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    1. Hey I tried to find your blog so I could check it out but your profile doesn't show a link.

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    2. I know where it is. It's http://fortwitter.blogspot.com/ :--)

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  8. Good for you, getting in the frame of mind to shed the pounds is always the toughest part, but you're right there and I'm certain you'll achieve what you want to achieve.

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  9. you've got totally the right attitude to it...changing your habits for better ones and not going for fad diets...

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  10. Wow, thanks for the great feedback everyone! I'm so excited about this blog, and being able to be completely open and honest has been so good for me.

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  11. Holy crap, girl! 23 pounds in a month?! Way to go! And I bet you're shedding inches like crazy!
    Keep on trekkin' - it can only get better from here!

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  12. I'm on the opposite end from you, B - 21 year old male who was dangerously underweight a year or so ago. I've had to put up with being the 'small' kid all my life, and so I think I know how alienating that sort of thoughtless stereotyping can be. :/

    On the bright side though, I'm taking my situation into my own hands much like you are yours - been exercising, eating more, sleeping more, and it's netted me maybe 15 pounds of muscle since I started. Not much in the long run, but I had to fight for every pound, and I'm proud of what I've accomplished.

    I know it sucks to feel like an 'outsider'. But if there's anything that happens to people who are unconventional, it's that they become interesting as a consequence - and judging from your style of humor, you seem more than interesting enough for me to follow your blog. :) Good luck on your continued progress.

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  13. Wow. Seriously, wow. I should thank you on behalf of everyone for being so open and honest about your insecurities. Don't think I would have the balls to do that!

    And well done! But, from experience, as silly as it sounds, don't lose the weight too quickly! Party because your husband definitely deserves some final moments with your boobs, but also because losing it too quickly will result in far too much loose skin and other unwanted things! But I guess, as long as the exercise is regular, you will be fine.

    Good luck!

    GM x

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    Replies
    1. It was scary when I was writing it, but after posting it I felt great. It's liberating. :)

      You made me LOL literally on the "final moments" comment. I had to let my husband read that.

      Yeah, I think the first 10 was all water weight, so I know it should slow down some now. I don't want to get flappy skin. Yuck.

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  14. I admire you. You have so much strength. I know you will reach your goals.
    Its sad that sexy is only used to describe the women with huge tits and small waists. What about the real women? -.-

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    1. Thank you! I hope so.

      It is sad. When I'm on campus I sometimes watch young guys checking out girls, and if a girl is bigger than a size 4, she's "fat". They are programmed now to be into bone-thin girls only. Most of them, anyway. There are some good ones left.

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  15. Sexy is attitude. And you sound like you found a keeper of a husband.

    And did you really lose 23 lbs in about a month? That is absolutely amazing! Woohoo!!!

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    1. He is a keeper. You're right about attitude.

      Yes, I did. I think the first bit was water weight, so I know it will (and should) slow down a bit. It's not healthy to lose too much too fast. So they say...

      Thanks!

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