Monday, February 20, 2012

Apples, Peanut Butter and Tastykakes

This, my friends, is my emotional roller coaster.
I had a rough week. It seems like I've been saying that a lot lately doesn't it? Well, this past week had some really high highs and some really low lows. Highs were

  • A brand new tattoo that serves as a reminder to appreciate the small joys in life.
  • TV journalist, Josh Mankiewicz of Dateline NBC reading and passing on my blog to others on Twitter. I was/am thrilled about this one. Yippee!
  • Gaining some new readers because of Mr. Mankewicz. That is really the cherry on top. New readers and new friends. 
  • Purchasing 50 Horror Classics for $14.99 at Best Buy. So what if a lot of the movies are not the greatest! I adore a good B-movie even if it's a bad B-movie. Ha! It has a lot of really good ones in it too. These are all from the '20s-'60s, I believe. LOVE.

And then there were the lows:

  • A trip to the e.r. the same day I got the tattoo. It was awful. Dizziness, headache, nausea, inner leg pain (this is where I previously had a DVT). I was scared because of my blood disorder that I had another blood clot. I didn't. Everything is fine now, but I was terrified at the time. It was an atypical migraine, which surprised the hell out of me because I've been getting migraines for upwards of 20 years and they never felt like that. I guess that's where the atypical part comes in huh?
  • Depression followed closely by, you guessed it, poor eating choices. Ugh. 
She was similar to this one. I shall name her Carmen. Why not? Photo from
Dammit! I so want to do well with my eating habits, not only for my own pig face, but for you. I don't want to let anyone down or disappoint any of you. That fucking cupcake. Why does she (no idea why the cake is a she, but in my mind she is) have to call to me in that sexy voice? "Mrs. One Day? Don't I look scrumptious tonight? Look at how my chocolate frosting swirls around the top of my moist, fudgey cake body. You want me. I want you. Let's do this." How the hell am I supposed to resist a leftover cupcake I've named Carmen, with a pickup line like that? 

Well hello there, Miss Krimpet.
Then the husband, who is from Delaware, found out that Tastykakes are now available here in Wichita. This was so exciting...for him. I know that he loves Tastykakes and missed having them when he moved away from the East Coast. What do I do, not let him bring them in the house? He doesn't have an ounce to lose. If anything, he could stand to gain a couple of lbs. So we went to our local Wal-Mart, the only place that sells them here right now and that also occupies a special corner in the depths of hell, and picked up these heavenly little pastries. Butterscotch Krimpets (because they were out of something called, Kandy Kakes?) they are called. Come on! Stop eyeballing me, Miss Krimpet. "But you know you want my lusciousness in your mouth, Mrs. One Day. You can't resist my sweet, creamy, butterscotch icing and fluffy cake. I'm stronger than you, human!" Grrr! She  was right. I gobbled her up and felt a wide variety of emotions afterward.

I was so very happy because she was so fucking delicious. I was also guilty, sad, angry, elated, deflated, (still) hungry, horny, and oddly apathetic. I guess the moral of the story is emotional eating is a real thing. A real bitch of a lady that can come in the form of depression and Tastykakes. How do you get past emotional eating? Beats the fuck out of me. If I knew that, Carmen and Miss Krimpet wouldn't have been shoved into my mouth like it was my last meal on earth.

Photo from
The good news is that today I've started anew. An apple and peanut butter for breakfast and I'll have my usual pineapple for lunch. For dinner we're having chicken that is not even fried! Wow! Stick with me, kids. I'm doing the best I can and I know you are too. 

Oh and if you see Miss Krimpet and/or Carmen, tell them I said to go to hell. Never mind, I may want them to visit at a later date. Hehe.


  1. In my marriage there's another woman involved. As much as I despise her, I can't bring myself to refuse my husband when he wants her. I mean, sometimes I like to dabble with her myself. Little Debbie- that delicious bitch.

    No need to worry about letting ANY of us down! We're all going through the same up and downs that you are. I'm glad you're feeling better now and the trip to the ER wasn't for anything too crazy!

    1. Ha! Little Debbie is a temptress too. Snack cakes call to me in the night, I swear.

      Thank you for saying that; it's hard not to feel all mopey about it sometimes. I can only do my best right?

      Thank you for your sweet words. I'm so glad it was just a weird migraine and not something serious. You know with all my stupid health issues, I have to be careful. *monster hugs for you*

  2. Glad your ER trip was nothing serious.

    And in the future, be sure to give your cupcakes unappetizing names. Like Hubert or Bertha. :)

    1. Thank you, sugar pop.

      You know that is an incredible idea! Just like my pounds Ira, Bertram, Blue Ivy (kidding). Seriously though I love that idea!! Since I'm a weird food namer, I should definitely make the names something that isn't cute or pretty. You're a genius!! *megahugs*

  3. Holy shit. All this food looks so good. Can we share?! I don't bite!

    1. Haha! You can have them all! You're eating for two and I just act like I am.

  4. It's so crazy to me that you're so funny and honest about the most tragic events in your life. I was laughing at the emotional rollercoaster, cheering at your Dateline NBC success on twitter, and sad when you talked about needing to go to the E.R.

    In short, I love this post like I'd love a child. Thank you for being so honest! I'm not judging you in the least for screwing up. I do too. Just get back on track! We can't hate you for giving it your best. As a matter of fact, we LOVE you! There. I said it.

    1. I love you, B. We NEED to meet in person, dammit! You always know just the right things to day to make my day a little brighter.

      I'm back up on that horse today. I had my apple and p.b. and then my pineapple for lunch. That's all so far today! Yippee! I love having the apple/p.b. combo because it keeps me full for a lot longer than something like one of those little packs of oatmeal. Those are sooooooo small! I can eat two easily.

      Thank you for your non-judgemental demeanor. It's always nice when you don't feel like the world is against you. This is a safe place and I love having that. I love having you as my friend. You little smile-maker, you! *crazy big hugs*

  5. Did you know that TastyKakes is teetering on the edge of bankruptcy? Yeah. Guess we'll have to get our empty calories somewhere else here in Philadelphia. Like Cheesesteaks. Or Cheese Fries. Or Fried Oreos. Or, let's just cut to the chase, Lard Biscuits.
    Love me some TastyKakes though.

    1. I did NOT know that. Dammit! The cheesesteaks in Philly are nothing short of divine from what the husband says. Pat's or Geno's for you?

      We'll be moving that way in a couple of years, so I have a lot to learn about the East Coast. It's a different world than my home state of Texas, and Kansas too, for that matter.

  6. I've always been taught that it's ok to fall off the wagon from time to time, as long as you get back on in style...
    Glad you made it out of E.R.

  7. We've all been struggling a bit lately, it seem. I'm not even going to discuss the abysmal food I inhaled this weekend in Mardi Gras celebration. Stupid delicious king cakes and their cream cheese fillings.

    Anyhoo, glad you're alright. Nothing serious. Relief!

    It would be so much easier to get back on that horse if she weren't such a huge bitch, amIright?

  8. What is wrong with me!?! The only thing that looked good were the apples and peanut butter.

  9. Well Blogger is being a bitch to me and I can't reply to your comments individually, so I'll do it here!

    @G-You're right. It IS okay. I just have to get that through my head day in and day out. Thank you for your sweet thoughts :)

    @Bea-We are having a hard time aren't we? I should probably be glad that there isn't a King Cake around. I love them so. I may have told my dad to send me one. Haha! Don't worry, he didn't. Thank you for your kindness, as always. It feels as big as that damn Trojan horse!

    @Nellie-That's probably why you aren't having to write for a weight loss blog. Hahaha! Be glad that's what you like!