Friday, February 17, 2012

Evil Scouts

Hi everyone! It's Jess again and today... I am a little hostile towards little girls in green (and brown too, you Brownie's are all evil too!). 

Do you all know what time of year it is? It's Girl Scout Cookie time bitches!! It's time for Samoas and Tagalongs and Do-Si-Dos!! Unless... you're on a diet. In which case you make it a point to run anytime a smiling mother/father approaches you in the office with a colorful order form in their hands. Like a serious run, like the zombie version of your ex-bf/gf is after you. I avoided those order forms LIKE A BOSS. Then it happened. 

The shipments all came in. Cookies were readily available and even though you were good and didn't preorder any, you're now being assaulted by them everywhere you go. When you go to the grocery store and you see the table out front with the fresh faces of these little girls who you know are actually Satan's little spawns and they're going to attack you and force you to purchase delicious cookies you immediately turn the car around and go back home to wait until after sun down- because surely they have to be home before the lamp posts come on right? 

Then at work... I'm surrounded by co-workers with boxes and boxes on their desks. Usually they'd be hoarding them like they were full of diamonds, but since they all know you're dieting they figure they'll ask you to be polite since they know you'll decline. THOSE BASTARDS!! Even though I'm ever so sorely tempted to be like "Don't mind if I do" and down the entire box in front of their astonished faces. 

So far, I have declined. I haven't had one delicious bite of a Girl Scout Cookie. This has been hard. This has been difficult. 

Resisting bad foods has become ever more increasingly difficult for me because there's a lot of personal issues I'm going through. Family be crazy yo. So yes, I have indulged more frequently than I have in a while. I did have Chinese for dinner Valentine's night and I am going out to a fancy Italian dinner tonight. And yep, I even ate a bowl of that red velvet ice cream last night while watching my Matthew and Cillian together on the screen (RAWR). 

It seems like the stressful things that spring up in your life are made even more stressful when you don't have the comfort of food to take the edge off. That's where a big problem of mine is actually. Associating comfort with food. I'm not sure when it began and I'm leaning towards believing it's always been there. Some people when they are depressed or stressed out lose weight because they lose their appetites. I'm the opposite of that. 

I'm wondering if that's something I should consider counseling for actually. Try to figure out why I associate food that way and then see if I can unlearn it. Who knows though really? It may not even matter really the "why". I know it, I'm aware of it, so I should get the will-power to stop it myself. 


  1. Not that I'm a Cookie Pusher or anything...but there are a lot of really good recipes you could use the cookies for. I found a Samoa shrimp one - kind of like coconut shrimp. And of course you could always donate a box--

    Oh who am I kidding? Evil!! You are right! The whole thing is Evil!!! Good for you for resisting!

    Although if you want a box...I've got some! :)

  2. keep up the resistance! we can do it. must resist the girl scout cookies

  3. I'll join you in the Girlcott! You have strength in denying more than you accept.

  4. I'm the same way. A stress eater. It sucks when you have as much stress as you and I and everyone has. I want that comfort. That sweet, Girl Scout cookie, comfort. Ugh. I haven't been as strong as you with the sweets. I've had cupcakes and Tastykakes. I'm spiraling in a bad direction.

    You're doing great! Keep it up girl :)

    1. Hahaha, thanks but I'm not sure how well I'm really doing these day. I was all up on that red velvet ice cream last night. Ah well.

  5. we don't have this problem in the UK. I think scouts and brownies do exists here, but people over here tend to be a bit more hostile when people, including children, come knocking on doors to sell shizzle. We just pretend we're not home until the bastards go away!! :P
    Good luck with your cookie resistance!

  6. I've considered going to a therapist about my eating habits as well. I, too, am a comfort eater. I'm also a bored eater, angry eater, happy eater, generally 24/7. Addiction, maybe? Maybe I should join overeaters anonymous. You think?

    Girl Scouts, Brownies, they're all minions of the devil. Evil little cutiepies and their delicious treats.

  7. I love Girl Guide cookies, although we don't seem to have the same variety.. we pretty much have these chocolatey minty wafer things, and chocolate/vanilla creme cookies.

    I've been a little disappointed that I haven't seen them out and about over the last few years.