Thursday, February 9, 2012

Eating Out is a Bitch

Hahaha! 
Weekends are a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is, of course I love the weekends because it means that the husband is off from work and we can hang out and do what married couples normally do. For example: Trying new restaurants. Yeah. You guessed it! This is where the sucky side of the sword comes in.

I love, love, love eating out. It's such a cool thing to be served, isn't it? They do all the work and you just sit there and enjoy what they've created on your plate. I was a server for a short time. I am also without a doubt the worst server on the planet. I have zero upper body strength to carry those stupidly heavy trays. I worked in a martini/tapas bar and I can't even remember how many martinis or glasses of wine I dropped. Those fuckers are top-heavy!

This was an awesome movie and I highly recommend it. It's called Waitress.  So good!
Anyway, I have a lot of respect for people in the food industry. I have a lot of family who either currently work in or have worked in the past in a restaurant. It's a tough business. It's not so easy for the girl who's trying to lose weight to be the customer either. They lure me with their cheesy, saucy, ooey, gooey, chocolatey, crispy, meaty, buttery goodness and I'm at their mercy. I bow to you Restaurant Gods. I'm in complete awe of how you do it. I go in with a good attitude. I really do. I intend to only have a grilled piece of chicken or a light salad or some other bland as hell entree they have on the menu. Oh and thanks again, Restaurant Gods for placing approximately 3 items on your menus that are healthy. You rock. Fuckers.


By the time our perky little server named, Lexi (or something else equally bubbly), comes by to take our order, I have somehow transformed into some slobbering, drooling idiot that has completely forgotten about the 3 healthy items and goes for the aforementioned entrees that have absolutely no place in a healthy diet. "I'll have the chicken. Fried. With Gravy. Green beans (yay a little triumph!) and mashed potatoes. OF COURSE I WANT GRAVY, LEXI! Duh!". What the fuck is wrong with me? What happened to ordering one of the 3 items? Am I that fucking weak? Yes. Yes I am. Sigh. I then look at my husband and say something like, "Well, I'll be good tomorrow". I know I'm not the only one that uses that line right? So, we eat our dinner and all the while I'm thinking, "No dessert. No dessert. No dessert". Most of the time I'm good and pass on the dessert that I obviously want. Last weekend? Not so much.

Yes, please!

Lexi: "How is everything?"
Us: "Fine, thanks".
Lexi: "What can I get you for dessert?" You're a sly one, Lexi. I never had a chance against you, did I?
Husband: "Nothing for me, thanks".
Me: "Umm...dessert? Wow. Umm...that's a tough decision there, Lexi. Dessert huh? Sure! Why not? I'll have the Cherry Raspberry Almond Crisp, please. You only live once, right?" Ugh.

Stressed out about the weekend eating much? Why yes, yes I am.
It was totally delicious and it didn't happen exactly like that, but you get the idea. I caved. I rationalized. I sucked. I actually said, "Well, it has fruit in it! That's good right?" Are you kidding me? Geez! How do you resist the things you love so much? I really am usually pretty good about desserts, but it seems like lately I crave them more and more. Why?! Come on, Restaurant Gods! Give a girl a break!

21 comments:

  1. I have stopped eating out because I am allergic to everything on the menu,and I am slowly transitioning to a raw food diet. Not many good raw food restaurants out there. However, I wasn't always allergic to everything, and I was once a waitress. Half the time I served customers, half the time I ate everything in sight. Ah, the good ol' days.

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    1. I feel for you. Having so many food allergies must be a nightmare. I would not handle that well at all. You're right there aren't many raw food restaurants out there and believe me you'd be screwed here in Wichita...land of the buffet!

      The good ol' days is right. The food was delicious where I worked too. ha!!

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  2. Dude. I am BAD on pigging out on the weekend. Like, really bad. I always mess things up. I try not to let it bug me though and I also try to take it as easy as possible on the restaurants and cook my bad meals at home.

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    1. It's hard isn't it? What is it about weekends??

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  3. I go all out at restaurants...a huge bloody steak along with a half rack of ribs, a loaded baked potato, a salad (see, I eat healthy)doused in french dressing, more butter rolls please! and keep those beers coming! and for dessert...wings! dozens of wings!

    Why do your posts make me so damn hungry? It's only 9 am and I want steak!

    You only live once...that's a good motto to live by. Except of course if you are trying to lose weight. Then you might want to try something like..."You only have one body, better make it look good!"

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    1. I like that. "You only have one body, better make it look good!" LOVE that! I'm going to steal that if you don't mind.

      My posts probably make you hungry because I'm a meat-loving Texan. The meal you described sounds like it came from Texas Roadhouse. I don't know if y'all have those restaurants there, but yummmmmmmm... I don't think there is a single thing on their menu that would be considered healthy. Maybe one of the lean cuts of steak would be okay. Anyway...it's hard at restaurants. Everything looks so delicious and I'm no good at passing the bad stuff up.

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    2. It is exactly that...Texas Roadhouse! Damn your good! My favorite place to eat! You sure do know your meals and where it comes from! I like you more and more!

      My wife hates me cause I'm such a good cook and such a big fan of unhealthy food. She loves it just as much as I do, but I don't make it easy for her!

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    3. Ha! I knew it! Damn you Texas Roadhouse! I love it too. They have steak AND Shiner Bock on tap. Yes, please! That bread is so yummy too. Mmmm...I wanna go right now. Ugh. I can't be trusted there.

      It's tough at our house too. I need to lose some weight and the husband needs to put some on because he runs it off at work every day. It sucks! We'll see how it goes!

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  4. Here's what I'm doing on the weekends, and perhaps one of the reasons I'm guilt free about it, I'm giving myself Saturday or Friday to be bad. To go to a restaurant and order that ooey gooey saucy fried chicken and mashed potatoes with the gravy (you bitch Lexi, you didn't have to ask- you already knew!). The rest of the week is ripe with veggies and baked/broiled and salads. So a night every now and again, is a total treat!

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    1. Do you give yourself one meal on those days, or the entire day is a treat day? Because if it's the whole day, I rocked it! Hahaha!

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  5. I consistently screw up on weekends for a few things.. if I'm home with the kids, I tend to graze, and if they're at their dads I end up eating out, or eating kind of crappy one-person meals.

    Oh, and let's not forget LIQUID CALORIES. I like to drink occasionally. Sometimes I like to have more than, say, 1 lite beer, or one small glass of wine. (This is where going dancing helps, because YAY BURNING OFF SAID LIQUID CALORIES!)

    One of the best pieces of advise I ever got regarding eating out came from my old Weight watcher meetings.. Ask for them to bring you a take out container WITH the food. Then pay attention to when you are just nicely full instead of stuffed, and when you are done, put that stuff in the container, pay and get the hell out.

    I've found with some restaurants portion sizes I can get one or even TWO extra meals if I take it home with me. With some places you can check out their menus online and plan ahead exactly what you want to order. They may have online nutritional calculators. Don't even let them bring you a menu.

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    1. I had forgotten about the take out container thing! I remember that from WW too now. I like the menu idea. If I know where we're going ahead of time that is. Liquid calories kill me some weekends too. I can't drink as much as I used to because of all my medications, but as you know, I'm a beer girl. The beers I like to enjoy are chock full of calories. It sucks doesn't it?

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  6. Eating out is a vicious cycle.

    You go with the intention of ordering one thing, and then cave into ordering something else. You can't help it because you're surrounded by all these things that smell so good!

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    1. You're exactly right. The smell! It entices you. Dammit, nose!

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  7. I'm going out with a friend tonight, and very worried about finding anything that is low fat at the restaurant. it sucks that the stuff I can't eat tastes SOOOO good. I may shoot someone if I have to eat another salad!

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    1. So true. The stuff that they put on the menu that's considered healthy is usually some teeny tiny portion and you're starving afterwards. Come on chefs! You can do better than that!

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  8. Hahaha I can SO relate!! We love going out to eat for the ambiance but I have terrible self control!!! Love your blog. Newest reader!

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    1. You get it. Yep! It is so hard isn't it?

      We're so glad to have you on board! Woohoo!

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  9. I am the queen of rationalization with bad food. I say to myself, "Well, I'll eat JUST A LITTLE BIT of this, then later I'll eat less for dinner" or the ever-popular "I've earned a little cheat, haven't I?" (the correct answer to this - for me - is No, you haven't. Not until you've reached your goal)

    Those damn waiters and waitresses. They're mind wizards.

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    1. They ARE mind wizards. Fuckers!! I've said all of those things and more. I'm gonna try to be good this weekend. We're going out to dinner for Valentine's Day tomorrow night so who knows. It's gonna have to be my "cheat" meal this week.

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  10. Weekends are hard for me as well. It's easy, for me, to be good during the week because everything is so structured but when I'm home....it's just harder.

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