*If you haven't read Andie's post from yesterday, please take a second to do so here. It's one of the best pieces on food and society that I've ever seen.
Back to the show.
Marriage is a funny thing.
When I was a single, I woke up whenever I wanted, did whatever I wanted and generally ruled my own world. Then I met this guy. (who shall be known from this point as G). He swept me off my feet, told me I was beautiful, and asked me to marry him. I accepted.
When I first got married, I didn't really understand that everything that I said or did would have an impact on him. We're a team, for lack of a better way of putting it. Everything we do, we do together. For better or worse!
When I told my husband I was going on a **** (the word diet is still a dirty word for me), he was very supportive of me. He told me he'd always love me, no matter what the size. But he's always encouraged me to take better care of myself.
Which is why this reversal of fortune is so strange.
The first month or so of my ****, he did whatever I wanted. He threw away the junk food, did pushups with me, showed me different exercises that I could do, walked with me, printed nutrition facts, and was generally a pretty awesome exercise partner. And then it ever so slowly started to slip up.
He started bringing home junk food and eating it front of me, despite my decree of "no junk food in the house, period." It eventually escalated to buying me fatty alcohol, knowing that I can't resist a drink. (Damn screwdrivers).
Then, last night, he brought home Taco Bell. Specifically, this little gem:
Empanadas. If there's ever a food that I cannot resist, it's Taco Bell's caramel apple empanadas. I can eat those things by the fistful and not even blink.
But anyway. He snuck those little slices of heaven in with the rest of the loot. And I ate it. Actually, I ate both of them. And they were amazing.
My adorable, sexy husband screwed me over and I was only too happy jump in the boxcar with him. And I think most of this has to do with how my husband and I look at food.
"Baby, you wanna get some Taco Bell and watch a movie?" Me: YES!
"Honey, want to get a pizza and play some Skyrim when you get home?" Me: YES!
"Hey sweetness, the guys are coming over, go get yourself some food and books."Me: YES!
You see the pattern? I do.
Food is always equal to fun in our house. We eat when we're happy. We eat when we're sad. We eat when we're bored. Did I also mention that my husband can make some kick ass nachos?
But enough of that. Here's the real issue I'm struggling with. How do I manage temptation in my own house without driving myself insane or making my husband hate me? I'm finding out that it's not so easy. We had to have a talk the other day about what's been going on with the food. I had to remind him that I'm trying to be serious about losing weight, and while I appreciate all the food offers, I can't keep shoveling this stuff down if I want to make progress.
You guys. He looked at me with those big blue eyes of his and said "So, we can't ever have those types of foods again?" And he looked so sad. And in that moment, I realized that I'm the debbie downer in our marriage.
You see, this diet thing IS going to have an impact on both of us. G can shovel down whatever he wants, and it seems like all he has to do is jog for 5 minutes and he seems to have lost the weight. I, however, work a sedentary job at a desk so it will take far more effort for me to take off the weight. I'm not saying that I can't have slip ups, but I can't have slips ups every day of the week.
What I need to learn is how to say no to those damn empanadas. What I need to learn is what triggers me to eat these foods. So, G and I went out together and we got me a food journal. Every single time I put something in my mouth, I'm going to show it to him so he can see the progresses and the downfalls that I have. He needs to see it so he can know that I'm serious about getting healthy. It's more effort, but it'll be worth it in the long run. If I don't believe it, he won't believe it either.
We have planned (together):
No more junk food at home
No more fast food trips except for cheat days
He's going to buy me more sardines and oysters (they're surprisingly awesome)
He's going to be more conscious about what he eats around me.
He's not going to be the saboteur to my **** anymore. We're back on the same page.
For better or worse, I'll lose this weight. You just wait and see. And we might just be crazy enough to do it together.
Back to the show.
Marriage is a funny thing.
When I was a single, I woke up whenever I wanted, did whatever I wanted and generally ruled my own world. Then I met this guy. (who shall be known from this point as G). He swept me off my feet, told me I was beautiful, and asked me to marry him. I accepted.
When I first got married, I didn't really understand that everything that I said or did would have an impact on him. We're a team, for lack of a better way of putting it. Everything we do, we do together. For better or worse!
When I told my husband I was going on a **** (the word diet is still a dirty word for me), he was very supportive of me. He told me he'd always love me, no matter what the size. But he's always encouraged me to take better care of myself.
Which is why this reversal of fortune is so strange.
The first month or so of my ****, he did whatever I wanted. He threw away the junk food, did pushups with me, showed me different exercises that I could do, walked with me, printed nutrition facts, and was generally a pretty awesome exercise partner. And then it ever so slowly started to slip up.
He started bringing home junk food and eating it front of me, despite my decree of "no junk food in the house, period." It eventually escalated to buying me fatty alcohol, knowing that I can't resist a drink. (Damn screwdrivers).
Then, last night, he brought home Taco Bell. Specifically, this little gem:
Empanadas. If there's ever a food that I cannot resist, it's Taco Bell's caramel apple empanadas. I can eat those things by the fistful and not even blink.
But anyway. He snuck those little slices of heaven in with the rest of the loot. And I ate it. Actually, I ate both of them. And they were amazing.
My adorable, sexy husband screwed me over and I was only too happy jump in the boxcar with him. And I think most of this has to do with how my husband and I look at food.
"Baby, you wanna get some Taco Bell and watch a movie?" Me: YES!
"Honey, want to get a pizza and play some Skyrim when you get home?" Me: YES!
"Hey sweetness, the guys are coming over, go get yourself some food and books."Me: YES!
You see the pattern? I do.
Food is always equal to fun in our house. We eat when we're happy. We eat when we're sad. We eat when we're bored. Did I also mention that my husband can make some kick ass nachos?
But enough of that. Here's the real issue I'm struggling with. How do I manage temptation in my own house without driving myself insane or making my husband hate me? I'm finding out that it's not so easy. We had to have a talk the other day about what's been going on with the food. I had to remind him that I'm trying to be serious about losing weight, and while I appreciate all the food offers, I can't keep shoveling this stuff down if I want to make progress.
You guys. He looked at me with those big blue eyes of his and said "So, we can't ever have those types of foods again?" And he looked so sad. And in that moment, I realized that I'm the debbie downer in our marriage.
You see, this diet thing IS going to have an impact on both of us. G can shovel down whatever he wants, and it seems like all he has to do is jog for 5 minutes and he seems to have lost the weight. I, however, work a sedentary job at a desk so it will take far more effort for me to take off the weight. I'm not saying that I can't have slip ups, but I can't have slips ups every day of the week.
We have planned (together):
No more junk food at home
No more fast food trips except for cheat days
He's going to buy me more sardines and oysters (they're surprisingly awesome)
He's going to be more conscious about what he eats around me.
He's not going to be the saboteur to my **** anymore. We're back on the same page.
For better or worse, I'll lose this weight. You just wait and see. And we might just be crazy enough to do it together.
I love that you have your hubby on board with you! Having an in-home support system is awesome! Someone to back you up right there in your face all the time is handy. Of course, when the slip ups occur there's someone there to slip up with you or kick your ass back in line.
ReplyDeleteThis is great, B. My husband is the same way. He literally runs all day long at work, so he's healthy and thin and can eat whatever he wants. It's hard when one person is trying to lose weight and the other isn't. My husband was really good when we were at the grocery store and I wanted to buy a salted caramel/chocolate bar the other night. He reminded me that I told him to make sure I was good this week because I wasn't so good last week. He did good and so is your husband!
ReplyDeleteIt'd defo a big help to have someone motivating and following the same eating patterns as you. When I tell my parents I'm trying to cut back on crap, they come back the same week from shopping with cream cakes, biscuits and fizzy drinks :/ apparently they all seem to be on 'special offer' when I'm trying to cut back!!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the weight loss together :D
The ex-hubster was a skinny wee thing with the ability to eat pretty much whatever he wanted. Did this annoy me to no end? FOR SURE.
ReplyDeleteI think some give and take is necessary.. No, it's not fair to forbid him ANY goodies, but he will need to be a little sensitive about bringing stuff around you that may trigger you. I don't think the rules you've outlined above are over-the-top.
This is my problem right now. Hubs comes home with Rally's, Taco Bell, Burger King, etc. and eats it RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Sometimes I want to stab him with a fork for doing that. He's super-supportive of my new lifestyle changes, but he doesn't get that HIS eating the food makes ME want to eat it, too. I started calling him The Enabler. He didn't think that was funny. Heh.
ReplyDeleteThe truth of the matter for me is that my husband and my kids are not on ****s, and so is it fair for me to make them stop eating the foods they like just because I did? I just have to work on my self-control and determination. I have to look at those fully-loaded fries and say, "NO, Bea! No!"
I've never had an empanada. That's probably a good thing.