Monday, March 26, 2012

One Sick Puppy


Well JJ suggests getting pregnant to lose weight, I suggest getting sick. I haven't been around for a few days because I was deathly ill beginning last Thursday. Y'all I was up every 1/2 hour throwing up from 10pm to 4am. It sucked, but I've lost 4 pounds! You're wondering, was it worth it? No. No not really.

Okay so maybe it's only 2 pounds. Better than 0! source
I haven't weighed since Saturday morning, so let me go hop on the scale real quick and I'll report my findings back here. So maybe I gained 2 back, but still! Two pounds woohoo! Let's call those two pounds Bernie and Mort. Why are they Jewish? No idea, but let's roll with it. Skedaddle there Bernie and Mort. I hope I don't meet you again, my Jewish compadres!

Mmmm... source
I know why I gained two pounds back y'all. Since I wasn't able to eat anything for 2 1/2 days, I went a little crazy over the weekend because I felt like I "deserved" it. Was that coconut custard pie that I ate worth it? Yeah, it kinda was. I know that sounds dumb, but after not being able to even eat more than three bites of a baked potato, I was starving and I love pie, this is no secret. Besides, I'm still down two pounds right?

While I was slumped over the porcelain goddess, sweating and heaving and praying to make it through the night, I had a revelation. Or maybe it was a hallucination. Either way, I realized that a) Diet orange soda is awful coming back up, and b) I need to work on my self-control. I ALWAYS overdo everything. I'm a go big or go home kinda gal and that even applies to food.

Miss Piggy in Marc Jacobs. So fashionable!  source
Being from Texas which is known for it's BBQ and chili and chicken fried steak, certainly has not prepared me for moderation on my plate. I don't know kids, it seems that I take 1 step forward and 2 steps back. Like I'll have the salad with the light dressing and then have pie. No wonder I've always identified with Miss Piggy! We have identical eating habits. Ugh. I'm still rationalizing and I'm not sure how to stop doing that. For another example, I ate half a roast beef sandwich and a little potato salad, which isn't too bad right? Then I ordered that coconut custard pie because I figured it evened out my light lunch. What the fuck? On what fucking planet does that make sense?

Story of my life, y'all. 
Again, I am cutting myself a tiny bit of slack because I was so sick and everything, but this week I'm back in the saddle again. I had my peanut butter and apple for breakfast, I'll have my pineapple for lunch and I think we're having burritos for dinner made with whole pinto beans instead of refried beans and 98% fat free tortillas. Not too shabby for a Monday I'd say. How was your weekend? Did you stick to your dieting guns?


  1. Sorry you were sick. Being sick is definitely NOT worth it in any way. Even if you lose a few Jewish pounds, I don't think it's worth it.

    But I love burritos! I make mine with black beans... I love me some black beans. :)

    1. No kidding right? I haven't been that sick in years. Blech.

      I love burritos too, even if the husband makes fun of the way I say the word, "burrito". Hahaha!

  2. Oh no!! I'm so sorry you've been sick! That's the pits for sure! You absolutely deserve that coconut pie and I'm not gonna lie it looks hella delicious and I kind of want to google a recipe for coconut cream pie right now, but I'm resisting!!

    Since you were so sick I don't think you need to justify the pie. Just own the pie. Especially since you're feeling better and you're back on track again!

    Also, I love that picture of the cat on the ladies back. That's pretty much all 3 of my cats and my pug. *le sigh*

    1. Own the pie. I like that. Own the pie dammit!

      Isn't that pic the funniest? Haha!

  3. Sorry you were sick! In my opinion, throwing up is the worst kind of sick. Yuck. Glad you're better now! I say you deserved the pie. Probably two slices, come to think of it.

    I have the same problem with "rationalizing" my food. It's like, "Well, I only had a small side salad for lunch, so it won't hurt me to eat three large pieces of this super-cheesy pepperoni pizza." Yeah, right.

    1. Thanks, girl.

      It's so hard to un-learn the rationalization thing isn't it?